


Durin's Tale

by Kytanna



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bilbo and Thorin are good parents, Durin is a sweet dwobbit, Durin's POV, Everyone loves Durin, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 07:11:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17442302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kytanna/pseuds/Kytanna
Summary: Durin has lived many lives and remembering was always hard. Carrying with the weight of time and death was even harder.





	Durin's Tale

**Author's Note:**

> I can't belive this took me almost a month to write. I'm not 100% happy with how it turned out, but I needed to get this out, so here it is. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> There is one word in khuzdul "thutratur" wich means tiny star, just so you know.

All that Durin remembers is loneliness.

A consuming and agonizing loneliness. From the moment he awoke to the moment he died.

When Mahal let him and his brothers roam free around Middle-Earth, Durin did it alone. He named all the hills and dells he encountered, and it was during his wandering that he came by Khazad-dûm, by his home.  
He found it while looking upon mysterious stars set like a crown. Durin took it as a sign from their maker and there, in the cave above the lake, founded the great city of Khazad-dûm.

The Hall’s of the Dwarfs.

And on his first life, he left for Mahal’s Halls as he came. 

Alone.

His brothers were already long gone and by the moment his time had arrived his people already referred to him as “The Deathless”. For he had died at 2395, a far too unnatural age. Whereas his brothers, the ones who were supposed to be his equals, lived half as long. 

His people, all the dwarves he had fought for to give a home, a life, a place in Middle-Earth that was not beneath the Elves, could not and would not think of him as an equal. They already treated him as a legend, as a gift from Mahal and for a moment Durin rejoiced the attention, thinking that maybe this was his place, that taking care of his people was his duty, that maybe, just maybe, this was the reason for him to be alone.  
But that moment was short-lived, for the loneliness came back faster than it left, and Durin could only hope that Mahal would be merciful and would take him back with him.

Durin, later found out that mercifulness didn’t exist, at least it did not for him, because once again, he was special, he was the one…

He was alone, and destined to go back and do it all over again six more times.  
Durin felt his heart shatter and with it came an agonizing numbness that filled the place that his heart once held. Still, there was little he could do about it. 

It was his duty and he would see it fulfilled. 

And he would wait, wait for the moment he would finally rest till the end of time.

\---

Remembering became the hardest part of the rest of his lives. Most of the times he already was aware of who he was, even if he couldn't really understand what that meant, all because his parents could spot his distinctive features even as a babe. That came with a life full of expectations, full of awed looks that he as a pebble could not comprehend. 

The only thing he ever felt was loneliness.

His only friend, his only companion.

He felt as if Mahal had carved a hole in his soul that the love of his family was supposed to fill, but rarely did, and barely enough to even begin to mend his broken soul.  
In all his lives, never once his parents had treated him like a son, never had he been the recipient of parental love. And in those times he had the blessing of having brothers he could only watch, watch with burning jealousy and sadness as they were given the love that was neglected to him.

It didn’t help that he remembered as he grew, that he came to the realization that this was not the first time he had felt this way and it wouldn’t be the last. 

One thing that he actually enjoyed was watching his people grow, see them find happiness in the city he had built for them. 

That's why watching as it was robbed from them hurt beyond words could express.

\---

There were times where he was lucky and he would be born in times of peace, but those were scarce and far apart. Nonetheless, he longed for them fiercely. 

Durin was far too tired of war and blood. 

With every life it became harder and harder to wield his axe, but his duty was to protect his people and lead them to prosperity. And if after every battle he cried himself to sleep, well, no one needed to know.

Or would care, for that matter...

His sixth life was the worst, with the Balrog awoken all he had fought for was lost and there was little he could do to protect his people, short from giving his own life to save all that he could. 

And that he did, without hesitation and a with a heart full of grief he charged towards the demon to what would surely be the end of his sixth life. 

\---

Durin died protecting his younger brother and praying to Mahal that this would not be the end of his people. That he, somehow, had managed to stop the Balrog from erasing all his lifetimes' work.

As it was customary after every death, he went to the Hall’s of Mahal to have time to assimilate his death and the life he had lived.  
It was typically just one of Mahal’s people that greeted him and waited for him to be ready to start a new life.

This time it was different. Mahal was the one waiting for him and as soon as he spotted Durin he gave him a smile tinged with what appeared to be sadness.

Durin still in shock from his sudden and brutal death could only stare at him when Mahal began speaking.

“Welcome again my child.” When Durin still was unable to answer, Mahal sighed and looked at Durin with an expression so full of what could only be regret, that took his breath away “I’m sorry, Durin for I have failed you, my eldest, my first creation, my son.” He approached Durin and put his big hands on his shoulders “You have done more than enough for your people and you have never been thanked with the affection you have always craved and deserved. This is why, my son, your last life will be different.” 

“Different? How so?” Durin asked softly, he could feel hope rising from within him, but Durin squashed it down, he had been disappointed more than once. He would not allow himself any hope.

“You will have the life you deserve, I will make sure you are happy this time around.” Mahal gave him a warm smile and grasped his shoulders a bit tighter. “You will have the family you deserve and a life fitting for you.” He suddenly started laughing while Durin could only stare in astonishment. “Why, it was my own wife the one to help me with this task. She has suggested one of her own creations for you.” Mahal suddenly hugged Durin, whispering into his ear. “I’m sure this life will be full of surprises and I hope this can finally mend your broken heart and your battered soul” 

At last Mahal pushed their foreheads together “Farewell, my child. I will be awaiting your return” 

And with that last sentence Durin was gone.

The next thing Durin remembers is coming from the earth with big fussy feet and his name on his lips.

\---

By the time he was three, he could already talk and understand most of what the adults said. Uncle Balin said he was really smart since most of the other kids could not do that. Durin could also walk and run very well, but pa had said that was because he was part hobbit and hobbits learned to walk almost as soon as they flourished. 

Durin was certain that he was the happiest he had ever been.

But then he turned four and the nightmares began.

And with that so did his memories.

After that he started to sleep with his parents and every night before bed his pa and his adad would hug him very tightly and tell him how much he was loved before cuddling, with him nestled between his parents. That always made the nightmares more bearable, even if every time his family told him how much they loved him he felt like crying.

It was when he was eighteen that he dreamt of his last death.

He had just woken up and he was sure he had just seen himself die.

As typical after a nightmare his parents also woke up and instantly his pa’s arms were holding him and his ada was brushing his sweaty curls with his meaty fingers. Strangely enough, after a nightmare, with his parents comforting him, he always felt at peace.

Basking in his parents' affection, he asked the one question that has been on the tip of his tong since he started having his nightmares.

“Pa?”

“Yes my boy?” Answered his pa.

“Why do I have to watch myself die in my dreams?” Both of his parents froze at that until it was finally his adad who finally reacted.

“Oh, _thutratur_ , we have much to talk about.” Answered his ada with a sigh. “Your pa and I were hoping you wouldn’t have to deal with this until much later.”

Durin stared at them in silence, he felt like he should know what his ada was talking about but his mind came blank.

“Blossom, do you remember the tale of Durin the deathless?” Asked his pa, in an uncertain tone.

Durin tried to recall the tale, it had been told to him many times, and suddenly he just _knew._

“That’s me, isn’t it?” Asked already knowing the answer “I’m Durin the deathless”

His ada looked sadly at him while his pa closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Aye, my pebble, you are” 

“That’s why I keep having nightmares?”

“Those are your memories of your past lives, it is said that you will fully remember when you reach your majority, but since you were born a dwobbit we are not quite sure when that will be.” Explained his pa, rubbing Durin’s hand with his soft thumb. 

“But, all I see in my dreams are horrible things, in none of them seem that I have ever been happy.” Said Durin, looking down at his fussy feet.

“Oh, my sweet blossom...” Said Bilbo hugging him against his chest. Durin loved his pa’s hugs, they always made him feel loved and safe. “We don’t really know much about your past lives, but one thing I’m sure is that never again you will have to go through all the nasty stuff that happens on your dreams.” Durin felt how his ada started to card his fingers through his hair, he always mentioned how much he loved that Durin had gotten his pa’s curls even if it was a nightmare to braid. “Not just your ada and I will make sure of it, but all your family. We all love you very much Durin, and you are our blessed treasure.” 

“But not because you’re Durin reincarnated, but because you are our son and you are the best gift Mahal could have ever given us.” Added his adad.

“Really?” Durin lifted his head from where it rested in his pa’s chest and looked straight into his parents' eyes.

“Really; my boy, we don’t expect you to be this character of legends and that you fulfil some outlandish duty that the Valar had put in your shoulders at the beginning of times. You are Durin Baggins son of Thorin and that is more than enough for us.”

His ada lifted his chin and pressed their foreheads together, smiling at him. “No matter what you choose in life, we will always support you and love you.”

Durin felt much better, one would have thought that after hearing all that new information he would be overwhelmed or even shocked, but for some reason, Durin felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

It really shouldn’t have surprised him how much his parents loved him, or his family for that matter, and yet it always made him warm inside. Despite having lived with that kind of affection it always made his heart jolt in surprise and pleasure at the praises and affection his family threw at his way.

Now, of course, everything made much more sense and he could only be thankful for the life he had now.

\---

It was was on the eve of his thirty birthday that he really understood how much his family was willing to do for him.

He had been on his way to his personal chambers when he passed the royal meeting room and heard his father’s voice.

_“I will say it one last time Boak, my son won’t be the crown prince!”_

_“But my lord you must understand as the royal consort the importance of this matter. Mahal has once again blessed us with the birth of Durin the Deathless, we can’t just ignore thousands of years of tradition.”_

_“I can and I will! My son doesn’t want to be king and I will respect his wishes. It’s the least he deserves. Why Fíli will make an excellent ruler if you ask me, and he’s more than ready to take the crown when the time arrives.”_

_“Wasn’t it enough, that you made a decree that stated we all must treat price Durin like any other dwarf and not like what he really is?”_

_“And let you all threat my sapling like some sort of deity or some other posh like that? No thank you! My son will be happy and he will have a normal life for once as far as I’m concerned, even if been a prince is far from normal, mind you. He’s suffered enough.”_

_“My King, will not see reason either? You, better than anyone, know the importance of this happening. What would your grandfather say?”_

_“I am not my grandfather and you as one of my advisors should know that by now Lord Boak. But if you must know my consort has my full support in this matter. Furthermore, if any of you try to oppose our decision, know that we will no doubt in taking Durin with us to a place where can be free of expectations”_

_“B-But my King, that would mean you would have to abdicate”_

_“Indeed it would, but as Bilbo had said before, Fíli is more than ready and Kíli is prepared to help his brother in any way he can. For us forfeiting the crown for our son’s happiness would be nothing, and we are not the only ones, all our family supports this decision”_

_“So, Boak are you and the rest of the council willing to face the consequences of your demands or will you listen and respect our choice?”_

_“I…”_

_“We will listen your majesty”_

Durin fell tears running through his cheeks, and without making a sound he returned to his rooms. He sat, back against his closed door with his knees pulled against his chest. He could hardly believe it. His parents, his family were willing to left all their lives behind just for him, just to see him happy.

He thought of his ten uncles, and how settled they were. They all had their lives built in Erebor, and they still were willing to left that behind. Because Durin didn’t doubt for a minute that if his parents did give up the crown and took Durin somewhere else, most of his family would come with them. 

Since Durin could remember they had always been a tight group, and every single one of them had always been for him when he needed them.  
He could count as a blessing that the council had surrendered so easily, although it seemed that it had not been the first time that topic had been brought to his parents' attention.

The next day he was gonna turn thirty and while his majority as a hobbit wouldn’t be for another two years, Durin felt that his thirty were going to be a turning moment in his life.

Since no one really knew when he would actually reach his majority as he was a dwobbit, he and his parents had reached a compromise, and at his father's suggestion they had decided that they would celebrate both his hobbit majority and his dwarfish one.  
He got up and head to the side of his room that held a full body mirror and glanced himself over. 

He wasn’t that different looking from his previous lives. His hair was raven black, as it had always been, but this time around he had slight curls and the texture of them was far from dwarfish. He had been told far too many times that he had the bearing of his ada and the soul of his father, and it was true. His features were all Thorin except for a few differences, like the colour of his eyes, that were mossy green like his father’s. Or his feet that were slightly bigger than average and had a light fuss of hair on the top. He was also smaller than the average dwarf. Another thing was his face, that while it had a slight fuzz on it, he hardly looked like the average bearded dwarf.

None of this ever bothered Durin, far from it. Looking at himself in the mirror always made him happy. 

He was his own self, he wasn’t Durin the Deathless anymore. 

He was just Durin.

Durin Baggins, son Thorin, the first dwobbit to ever come to exist.

\---

In the end, Durin turned out to be right, for when he turned thirty all his memories came back to him.

It wasn’t painful or agonizing, it just felt like the last piece of a much larger image was finally placed and Durin could finally understand.

All his dreams made finally sense, and when he woke up he felt like a new person all over.  
He was still the same dwobbit that he was the night before, but now he had a better understanding about all that had happened and with that came the realisation that Mahal had, in fact, kept his promise.

He had given him the family he had longed for since the moment he had come to exist and so much more. He couldn’t feel the crippling loneliness that had been his companion during his past lives. 

He felt whole and complete.

It was then when the enormity of things dawned on him. He had the rest of his life to enjoy, he had so much ahead of him to discover, to be much more than he could have ever dreamt to be. 

Thanks to his parents, to his _beloved and blessed_ parents he could be whatever he wanted.

For the first time in existence, Durin shed tears of happiness, thanking all that was sacred for the opportunity that had been granted to him.

He had so much to discuss with his family, but that could wait. After he had given them his gifts, after he had enjoyed their affection and the cake that his uncle Bombur and his father had been planning to make for him.

He got ready as fast as he could, and with a crate full of gifts and a head full of dreams, he made his way to his family, that was surely already waiting for him.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on tumblr as x-kytanna-x


End file.
